Blog

1. You need to line up three different “aspects” of yourself now instead of only two.
2. There is no real chance for “evolution” because your social media “self” follows you wherever you go.

Before the advent and ubiquitous implementation of the internet and social media, for most of us “pre-internet folks”, it proved very difficult to simply line up the life we lived in our heads with the life we lived in the “real world.” For me, I strongly believe each of us in this world are living two “very different and distinct” lives… an “outer” and an “inner” life. The outer life is the clothes we choose to wear and if we choose to look happy or serious, angry or boss-like, the jobs we hold and the cars we drive… all the decisions we make every moment of our lives that are “shown” to the world around us. Our “inner lives” involve all the most private and hidden thoughts (and sometimes actions) that only WE know and only we get to deal with and no one else in this world can ever know… unless we share.

It is also my belief that for most of us, these two “lives” often don’t really “line up.” The “world” we show to others is often nowhere near to the “life we are living inside our own minds.” Maybe on the “outside” we are so happy and together and people are often jealous of how great our life is, but on the “inside” we are feeling very little but shame and desperation and hopelessness and hoping others “do not find us out.” I truly believe that for many of us these two lives are nowhere near as close as we would like or need them to be… and this “separation” is the root cause of so much anxiety, worry, depression, and other “illnesses.”

BUT NOW… thanks to the internet and the proliferation of social media… I think there is a “third life” we need to try and line up with the other two… and this is simply causing chaos. Simply “lining up” the outer and the inner lives for most of us proved challenging enough, but now trying to line up those two with our lives “online” seems nearly impossible… especially for those who have “grown up” online. Ever since they were babies their lives have been “posted” and now that they are able to assume a little autonomy, I think a lot of younger people in this world are feeling “trapped” within their own “online lives.” What they have posted previously NEVER disappears and who they were yesterday is who they are EXPECTED to be tomorrow… and if they dare to “change”… ? Simply navigating “this world of one’s online life” seems impossible to me, and I worry there is NO ROOM to “grow” and “experiment” and “make mistakes” and “reverse course” and just to “think”… ALL the things I believe that should be part of growing up… I worry are no longer possible.

Our lives are DYNAMIC! They are MEANT TO BE this way! We are MEANT TO CHANGE! We are MEANT TO GROW! We are meant to THINK DIFFERENTLY! But our lives online… static, forever, never disappearing, permanent, unforgiving… This causes me worry.